Men's Divorce Custody Tips

The Lie of Lies

You may have heard from somewhere official or read that most courts now evaluate custody issues on an equal basis. This is supposed to mean that both mother and father are to be evaluated on an equal basis when it comes to deciding custody. While the county courts may state this to be the new law in evaluations, and even put it in print, it is a lie. Civil courts are courts of opinion. I call it the lie of lies because it is wholly unfair and the welfare of our children is at stake.

In a divorce, opinion is that of a judge and not a jury… one person’s opinion with no real basis in law, except for procedure. Yes, you can appeal, but it’s costly and can take a long time. In some counties, the very same judge that made the decision hears the appeal!

For men fighting for custody, please do not be mislead into thinking that you are on even footing with the mother in a divorce battle – it is not a 50/50 fight in most circumstances. If you have a good attorney, they will confirm this. It is an uphill, knock-down, drag out fight and you must approach it as such if you want a chance of winning.

Women have the advantage because the general consensus in the world is that moms are the natural caregivers. The thought of men as the primary caregiver is still the exception and not the rule. This thought still permeates throughout the public, the courts and is still in the minds of many judges. Just ask any single dad who is at the grocery store with their kid(s) about the comments they hear.

To make matters worse for dads, the mother could have done a million things wrong in the past (even just yesterday). You could have photos of her with a time stamp and a newspaper with yesterday’s date… but all she has to do is say she is no longer doing them and has changed her ways. No matter what her history, once she “repents” about the error of her ways, she now has the advantage once again. One thing I have noticed is there has been an increase in joint custody decisions. While that is good, it’s far from fair. Is it really a fair race if the only two outcomes are she wins or it’s a tie (joint custody).

If you want to fight and believe your children are better off with you as the primary parent… fight with all your heart and mind on behalf of your children and expect it to be rough. Just know that you are climbing uphill, but you can get to the top!